How Do I Pet My Dog?

This may seem like… so obvious. However, it is quite likely that what you are thinking is actually offensive to a dog.  What? Bear with me here and I think you’ll understand. As children, we are taught to let a dog sniff our hand and then reach over the head to pet the dog on top of the head.  Well, guess what?  That is actually not appreciated by the dog.

To a dog, anything that comes over their head could, in their instinctive mind, kill them. The dog is innately defensive and will quickly move to offering an open mouth to the hand coming over their head.  As people, we think the dog is biting, but actually the dog is defending itself.  You certainly would never hit your dog in the head but that is exactly what the dog thinks every time you reach for the top of their head.

Imagine this scenario: you give your dog the command to sit and after perfectly performing the task, you reach for the top of the head to praise your dog.  The dog likely thinks along the lines of, “Gosh! Why would you hit me in the head when I just did what you asked?”

Many, many times I hear from the primary caregiver of the home that the new puppy is biting the children.  I know exactly what is happening! The children have gotten nipped plenty from the puppy as the young pup is trying to tell the humans to stop “hitting” me in the head and the humans just don’t listen.  They keep “hitting” the puppy in the head.  Inevitably there comes a time when the puppy gets tired of issuing warnings (nips, jumps etc.) and decides to further emphasize the point and actually nips or full on bites the child.  The child goes running away crying and the dog gets in trouble.  I suggest you take seriously the importance of teaching your children the correct way to pet a dog so as not to get bitten.

Another very common human theory for why a dog is biting, in this scenario, is due to so many dogs going through a “rescue” process and the new family fantasizes that in the dog’s “first life” they were horribly abused and beaten. Why do they make this assumption? Because every time a hand comes over the dog’s head the dog squints their eyes and will even crouch to avoid the hand coming at the head.  While it is true that some dogs may have been beaten and that’s very unfortunate, the truth is that EVERY dog will squint their eyes and crouch their head down if a hand comes over their head.  It doesn’t matter if that dog has been with you since it was born, as mine are, or if you got a dog that had previously been with another family.  Resist the temptation to romanticize their first life by creating a life that likely didn’t exist.  Instead, try petting the dog correctly and watch the almost instantaneous change.

“What is the correct way to pet my dog” you ask? Well, instead of going over the dog’s head, either just to pet or to praise for a job well done, reach for under the dog’s chin and give a little scratch.  This is actually a gesture of friendship!  Teach your children to yes, let the stranger dog sniff their hand first, but then to reach for under the chin for a little pet.  This keeps everything about the child, and the hand approaching the dog, in a place that is easy for the dog to see. Whether you are a child, or a child at heart, bear in mind this advice whenever you are greeting a dog, yours or someone else’s.