Separation Anxiety … Is your relationship with your dog out of balance?

Today I want to help you and your dog find balance in your relationship.  In my last blog, I talked about conditioning and how sometimes what we do to our dog causes a natural canine response to a situation.  One of the most common responses I see is anxiety, especially when separated from its pack.  

Dogs are pack animals and when they become your pet they become part of your pack.  If you are a single pet owner, you are now a pack of two. There are huge benefits to having a dog as a companion but this relationship needs some healthy boundaries so it stays in balance.  The challenge is to find ways to keep your dog balanced so you can live a normal human life.  

Answer yes/no to these questions to see if you may have accidentally caused anxiety in your dog:

1. I greet my dog right away when I get home, with excitement, treats and kisses.
2. When I am home I almost always talk, pet or hold my dog.
3. When I leave the house my dog is free to roam around the house with no set boundaries or direction as to what he/she is supposed to do while I am gone.

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above questions, you may have caused your dog to have some degree of separation anxiety.  The good news is that you can reduce the anxiety and bring your dog back into balance with a few changes.  

PROVIDE A DOG DEN
Your dog’s natural instincts are that of a den animal.  They like a cozy space that offers comfort and solitude.  The easiest den to provide is a dog crate that is appropriate for your dog’s size so they can turn around and lay down.  I recommend using the crate as the dog’s forever den so it has its own cozy place to go to, even when you are home.  

When you are leaving the house the den is the perfect place for your dog to relax in. This will give the dog a feeling of safety and security which the dog desperately craves. You will know when you are out that your dog is safe in its crate and is not destroying your home.  Your dog will be calm and safe and will rest peacefully while you are gone. As the pack leader, you have clearly defined the boundaries and provided directions for what you want the dog to be doing while you are gone.

Guidelines for using the crate in a positive way:

1. If you work full time please consider using a pet sitter, pet walker or a dog daycare so your dog gets to go to the bathroom, gets exercise and interaction.  
2. Don’t feel guilty for putting your dog in its den. Instead create a positive pattern through training.  For example, my 8 week old puppy already understands that when I get a treat out and tell her to go to her crate, she RUNS to her crate knowing her treat is coming.
3. Have your dog sleep in the den/crate at night, not with you on your bed.  To a dog, height denotes status. So when you sleep on the same level with your dog, you are saying you are equals and that definitely moves you both in the direction of an unhealthy relationship.  Your dog is better served by sleeping in its crate or at the very least on the floor next to your bed but not in the bed with you.

PRACTICE GOODBYE and DELAYED HELLO
If your dog has a high level of anxiety going on right now, start with 5 minute intervals of being separated from you in the crate while you are working in the house on something else.  

Work up to short intervals in the crate when you leave the house and return quietly and calmly ignoring your dog for 10 minutes every time you return.  At this stage, give your dog a frozen prepared Kong with peanut butter in it when he/she goes in the crate. When you return and after you wait 10 minutes, open the crate door and remove the Kong whether the dog has touched it or not.  Your dog does not get the Kong again until you are ready to leave again. The message to your dog is that it is a good experience when you leave because it gets this yummy treat all to itself. The biggest thing to remember when doing this is that you remain SO calm when you return.  Do not go directly to the crate to get the dog out and when you do, you still remain calm while you take the dog straight outside to go potty. Affection after potty outside. 

ALONE TIME IS GOOD
It is perfectly fine to be separated from each other while you are home. When you are home with your dog, if you spend all of the time with the dog on your lap or you are constantly involved with the dog, the dog will not know what to do when left alone. 

Spend time actively ignoring your dog during the day.  It’s ok to work, cook, exercise, read, play with your children, etc. and let your dog be around but not the center of attention. When you do want to give your dog affection, make sure the dog has done some work for you. For example, make sure the dog has sat for you or laid down before giving affection.  

I hope these suggestions have inspired you to make a few changes that will definitely help your dog be a well balanced part of your pack. 

Cheers,

Julie